It’s weird when for basically your whole life you thought you’d be one thing. A teacher. You grow up playing school, bossing your younger siblings and cousins around, in your makeshift classroom. I mean there was that brief period of time when I thought interior design was my thing (that was mainly just an overdose of HGTV). There was also that brief period when nursing seemed like it was, but that definitely wasn’t it. So teaching it was! There was a little questioning, but not much doubt.
So there I was, excited to buy fresh, new dry erase markers. To make name tags for each students desk with the alphabet and numbers on them. To write my students names on popsicle sticks and put them into a nice little cup. I created a Pinterest board and pinned stuff for my future dream classroom. I started my first semester of education classes and thought I had my life all planned out.
It’s even weirder when you realize that one thing you thought you’d be, is not what you are going to be. I realized that a chaotic classroom full of children was not my career choice after all. I am a pretty introverted person, who likes to be in control. I am not a huge fan of flexibility, I like to know the details and plan everything out. All of these little things made me rethink my whole becoming a teacher and creating-the-perfect-classroom-scenario. I’ve realized that being introverted is not something that would stop me from being a wonderful teacher. Except, I don’t want to. I don’t want to be exhausted every day from talking to various teachers, students, and parents all day. I’m sure there are tons of introverted teachers out there, who are exceptional and awesome! I have just realized I don’t want to be one of them.
So all this basically leaves me at square one. I was quite happy in high school to be the one who had their major all figured out. Now I am experiencing the other side. Fear of the unknown. I have like two weeks until I register for fall semester classes. At the moment, I have no idea what those classes will be. On my laptop currently, I have 21 tabs open all searching for my major, I think it is like playing hide and seek. I am terrible at hide and seek, and so I have literally no idea what my major will be. As I said before, I like having everything planned out. So not having my major and entire life course planned out in front of me, was a bit distressing.
Then I remembered something, I’m not the only one with a plan. God’s got a plan too, and His is a LOT better and bigger than mine is ever going to be. God already knows what I am capable of, and where I can go. So even when my plans change, I am trying my best to remember that God is in control, He knows what is going on, and He knows who I am and what I will be good at, even better than I do. When the times right, He’ll help me figure out what major/career is right for me. Faith is such a nice thing to pin quotes about on Pinterest. However, it requires a bit more work to actually have faith, and not just pin it. So, for now, I am okay not knowing where I will end up in five years. That’s alright, because God’s in charge, and He loves me.